Your Stories

A Mother

Megan Spahr’s Story

After being diagnosed with bipolar disorder recently after 10 years of dealing with it and knowing something wasn’t right and turning my life into a mess I was disappointed to see that there wasn’t very much being done to help people with bipolar disorder. It seemed like my only options were to pretty much take the medicine, deal with the side effects and deal with the it for rest of my life and no one was really trying to do more or explain to me more about the disorder.  My husband would often ask why did I have to end up such and mess before someone finally was able to help me. I really started to feel like no one cared or knew much about bipolar disorder. Now that I am diagnosed I am dealing with the trouble of accepting that it will never got away and that I will always have problems and the stigma attached to the disorder, as well as the people who don’t understand and just think I’m crazy. When I came across your website today I really started to cry I just wanted to say how wonderful what I think you are doing is. Just to know that someone is doing something gives me hope. To many people die because they can’t deal with the pain this disorder causes anymore and end up self medicating or just committing suicide. I’ve self medicated too many times time to count and suicide has crossed my mind many times. You just get tired to dealing with it after awhile and with not with medicines that don’t work well and not many other options it’s like what do they expect you to do. The Quest for the Test you are doing is great. The sooner we can get diagnosed the sooner we have a chance to deal with it and get the help we need. I don’t wish anyone to have to live with this for 10 years like I did before getting diagnosed.  I used to tell myself maybe I was just weird and after all the horrible things I did because of my manic episodes I was left feeling like I was just a bad person and was worthless.  It was horrible living everyday knowing something was wrong with me and no one being able to tell me what it was.  I just want to say thank you again for everything you are doing. I am looking forward to seeing great advances made one day in the research and treatment of bipolar disorder.